Well since I found out I’m preggo again and my baby has anecephaly and spinal bifida and will only have at most a few days to live if that, things have not been the same at all. A lot of people are “there” for me but why do I still feel so lonely? My fiance doesn’t even seem to love me anymore, I feel so distant from my friends, my family trys to make me feel better but it doesn’t really help that much. I feel empty broken and if it wasn’t for my lil girl I prob wouldn’t be here. Its hard to feel all those kicks and having a big belly, but feeling as if your not even pregnant anymore. All I wanted was to have a happy pregnancy but I guess that won’t ever happen. Matt says he doesn’t even know if he wants another baby, or if he even wants to be with me I guess. I need help but I don’t even know who to ask cuz no ones been through this and ik no one will really know what to say. I can’t talk to matt cuz he bottles everything up and just gets angry at me if I try talking to him about it. He’s not accepting the fact that thiis is really happening, and I don’t want to loose him, but he’s making it soo hard on me. He wanted me to get an abortion and I think that’s what all this is about. Before he used to rub kiss and talk to my belly and now he doesn’t want anything to do with me it seems. We are soppose to support eachother right? But that’s not even possible anymore. I just want to be happy and enjoy the time we do have. I honestly don’t know what to do or think anymore. I’m broken, alone,pregnant, and it feels like no one could give a fuck about me. This silence is killing me and I’m at the end of my rope… soon I won’t be able to hold it all together and I’m going to break.. and the question: who will be there to catch me? …
Omg I wanna steal this puppy soo bad haha
(Source: , via whitescribbles)
(via Anonymous Works: “Hand Gentleness”)
Circa 1930’s washing machine “hand” agitator. A marvel of industrial design!
Available here.
